Your Child and "Days of Special Meaning" : Planning for the Future / Dealing with the Past
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Your Child and "Days of Special Meaning"

by Betty Burley on 05/14/18

I had every intention of writing this post last week, but time didn't allow it.  Still, the information is valuable, and I hope that if you are co-parenting a child with someone with whom you are no longer in a relationship, you will take this to heart.

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  Most visitation orders state that the child will be with the "appropriate parent" on Mother's Day or Father's Day.  That means most children of divorce or of never-married parents spent the day with Mom.  I hope that you had a lovely day together.

Dads, your 3, 8 or 12 year old probably doesn't have an income to support buying a gift for her mother.  Yes, I know that "that woman" already receives a substantial portion of your income in the form of child support.  I am, however, asking you to dig into your pocket next year and spring for a small token for your child to present to his or her mother on Mother's Day, on Mother's birthday, and on Christmas.  Dollar Tree is a magical place for a child.  

Many years ago, I was co-parenting my oldest son with my ex-husband.  He had remarried and my son was spending the Christmas holiday with his father.  I made sure that our son had gifts for his father, stepmother and stepbrother.  It was the right thing to do.  He was so joyful.  

Unfortunately, that experience wasn't repeated.  I was younger, and more self-centered, I suppose.  My son returned without a gift for me, and it hurt my feelings.  I never sent another gift because I didn't think his father would reciprocate.  That should never have been the point.  

My son is 30 years old now, and he has a good job and buys his own gifts.  He spent the day with me, his mother, on Mother's Day.  We had a blast.  Despite the many mistakes I made while he was growing up, he turned out to be a really, really great person.

I still wish that I could have  a "do-over."  I wish that I had taken my son to buy gifts for his "other family" for every holiday - or at least to have made a card -  because it would have made him happy.  

Father's Day is just around the corner, so if your a co-parenting mother, this applies to you, too.  A dollar (two if you count the wrapping paper) is all it takes.

Make the next "day of special meaning" special for your child.  You won't regret it when he's 30.  I promise.

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